At Home with the Smiths
– Oh dear.
– What?
– It's Friday night and I haven't written anything for this week's FFF.
– What's FFF?
– Flash fiction Friday. It's a weekly short story competition on this writing site I belong to.
– Right. So what's the prize?
– Nothing, really. Just, um, kudos.
– Doesn't sound like it matters if you miss a week, then.
– Guess not.
– In fact, I don't really get why you do it at all.
– I tell myself it's because it's good discipline for me to write on a regular basis to a specific word count …
– Uh-huh.
– … but really I'm hoping that one day, I'll write a story so amazing, so beautiful, so perfect that everyone will realise just how brilliant a writer I am.
– Has that happened yet?
– Well, no … but it might.
– OK. So if this thing's so important to you, why don't you make something up on the spot?
– Eh?
– Just improvise it. You know, like jazz.
– I don't think you understand how writing a short story works. You have to know where you're going before you start.
– I don't see why.
– Because short stories succeed or fail on the strength of their endings.
– But you could let the ending come to you as you write.
– It's not that easy.
– Come on, AFE. If you're such a great storyteller then you should be able to tell a story on the fly.
– Oh really? If it's that simple then why don't you do it?
– Er …
– Go on. Tell me a story.
– All right. 'Once upon a time …'
– Cliché.
– Sorry?
– You just started with a cliché. That's a big no-no.
– It's a fairytale, OK? They always start like that. So as I was saying, 'Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess …'
– Passive sentence.
– What?
– 'There was' sentences are weak sentences. You want to make it more active.
– I have no idea what you're talking about. Anyway, 'Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who was loved by her whole kingdom …'
– Now you're telling not showing.
– I beg your pardon?
– Don't tell us she was loved. Show us through the behaviour of the princess and her people. Come on! Show don't tell! It's the fundamental rule of fiction!
Silence.
– Did it ever occur to you that knowing all this stuff has really ruined fiction for you forever?
– Well …
– I mean, when was the last time you read a book and didn't complain about 'telling' or 'word echoes' or 'dangling participles' or whatever else gets you all riled up these days?
– Um …
– How long has it been since you simply enjoyed something without a small part of your brain pointing out 'errors' that the average reader wouldn't even notice?
– Sorry? I got distracted by your unnecessary 'that'.
– My point exactly. You've taken something you loved and analysed it until it's impossible for you to lose yourself in it any more.
– I'm a writer! It's what we do!
– Right, and by trying to become a writer, you've stopped being a reader. I think it's a shame.
Silence.
– You know, you didn't really need the 'I think' just then. It was your point of view. It was obvious it was you who thought it.
– Whatever. I'm going to bed.
Return to Flashes
– What?
– It's Friday night and I haven't written anything for this week's FFF.
– What's FFF?
– Flash fiction Friday. It's a weekly short story competition on this writing site I belong to.
– Right. So what's the prize?
– Nothing, really. Just, um, kudos.
– Doesn't sound like it matters if you miss a week, then.
– Guess not.
– In fact, I don't really get why you do it at all.
– I tell myself it's because it's good discipline for me to write on a regular basis to a specific word count …
– Uh-huh.
– … but really I'm hoping that one day, I'll write a story so amazing, so beautiful, so perfect that everyone will realise just how brilliant a writer I am.
– Has that happened yet?
– Well, no … but it might.
– OK. So if this thing's so important to you, why don't you make something up on the spot?
– Eh?
– Just improvise it. You know, like jazz.
– I don't think you understand how writing a short story works. You have to know where you're going before you start.
– I don't see why.
– Because short stories succeed or fail on the strength of their endings.
– But you could let the ending come to you as you write.
– It's not that easy.
– Come on, AFE. If you're such a great storyteller then you should be able to tell a story on the fly.
– Oh really? If it's that simple then why don't you do it?
– Er …
– Go on. Tell me a story.
– All right. 'Once upon a time …'
– Cliché.
– Sorry?
– You just started with a cliché. That's a big no-no.
– It's a fairytale, OK? They always start like that. So as I was saying, 'Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess …'
– Passive sentence.
– What?
– 'There was' sentences are weak sentences. You want to make it more active.
– I have no idea what you're talking about. Anyway, 'Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who was loved by her whole kingdom …'
– Now you're telling not showing.
– I beg your pardon?
– Don't tell us she was loved. Show us through the behaviour of the princess and her people. Come on! Show don't tell! It's the fundamental rule of fiction!
Silence.
– Did it ever occur to you that knowing all this stuff has really ruined fiction for you forever?
– Well …
– I mean, when was the last time you read a book and didn't complain about 'telling' or 'word echoes' or 'dangling participles' or whatever else gets you all riled up these days?
– Um …
– How long has it been since you simply enjoyed something without a small part of your brain pointing out 'errors' that the average reader wouldn't even notice?
– Sorry? I got distracted by your unnecessary 'that'.
– My point exactly. You've taken something you loved and analysed it until it's impossible for you to lose yourself in it any more.
– I'm a writer! It's what we do!
– Right, and by trying to become a writer, you've stopped being a reader. I think it's a shame.
Silence.
– You know, you didn't really need the 'I think' just then. It was your point of view. It was obvious it was you who thought it.
– Whatever. I'm going to bed.
Return to Flashes
