 In around two months I'm going to become a parent for the first time.
Am I excited? Yes. Am I peeing my pants with fear? Also yes. Because what if I'm a terrible parent? I'm trying to do everything right. I'm thinking about safety and nutrition and educational value. I'm not planning on neglecting my baby or absent-mindedly leaving him on a train. But that doesn't mean it won't all go horribly wrong. Because presumably, through no fault of their own, some people just aren't very good at bringing up children. And I might be one of them. I'm sure everyone who's expecting a baby for the first time goes through the same thought processes, but that doesn't make me any the less anxious. I'm about to cross the invisible line that separates parents from children. I have absolutely no idea what it's like over there, and no number of reassuring/terrifying/helpful stories from people who have already crossed can change that. It's like I'm emigrating to a country I've never visited, all the while knowing I can never come back. An adventure, but a pretty damn scary one. Still, I have my partner by my side. I have people I can turn to for advice. And I also have one fundamental thing in my favour: I already love this baby, even though I haven't met him yet. I guess that will have to be enough.
7 Comments
I don't want to claim any parenting high ground - far from it, but the fear, the worry, and the self doubt never, ever go away. So I fall back on the love. I reckon making sure your child goes to sleep every night knowing that he's loved is the single most important thing you can do.
I agree! It's all about loving them as much as you can and trying not to send yourself reeling toward a psychotic break by worrying over them. Unless they stop breathing - then worry away. That's what I did, anyway. Thank goodness the little stinker started breathing again. 2/4/2012 12:14:34 pm
Congratulations! I'm a foster parent, and I find that genuinely enjoying kids, at least most of the time, is the most important part. Kids pick up on whether you like them as early as the first three months, and this affects their self-esteem in later years.
Authonomy. A distant memory, yet I got some good advice there. Since then, Solstice Publishing has taken up Still Rock Water. You will be surprised how naturally parenting fall into place. I have four children. There r still many days that I'm freaked out that four small beings look to me for guidance and advice. I'm not everything I hoped to be as a parent but im better hN I thought I cld be. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Pop back in a little later for my b blog 2/4/2012 09:50:05 pm
Congrats on your baby! I think we all are scared in the beginning. You love this baby already... so you will be fine. 3/4/2012 11:21:30 am
Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging words! I know that however scary this is, it will definitely be worth it. But that doesn't stop me freaking out occasionally :-) Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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