A.F.E. Smith
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The mathematics of fantasy

28/4/2013

8 Comments

 
As some of you may be aware, when I'm not reading or writing or talking about fantasy literature, or editing, or trying to convince Baby Smith that throwing things on the floor for me to pick up isn't the Best Game Ever — when I'm not doing any of that, I'm also a mathematician. And this was going to be a serious post about how maths and fantasy may seem poles apart, but in fact share a requirement for rigorous underlying logic and an understanding of how changing one variable affects another … or something like that. Because along the way, it turned into something altogether sillier.

It turned into this.

The Mathematical Rules that Govern All Fantasy Worlds: a Short Treatise by A.F.E. Smith

Theorem 1: Few > Many

In any conflict, the less numerous side will always defeat the more numerous. This is especially true if they are making a heroic last stand that's almost certain to end in death (see Theorem 2).

Corollary 1: If you're the leader of a well-trained, well-armed and fully manned army, beware. You'd be better off sending all your most experienced soldiers home and throwing half your equipment away.

Theorem 2: Pactual(event) = 1 – Ptheoretical(event)

The more improbable an event, the more likely it is to occur. This law was first discovered by Sir T. Pratchett (reference his invaluable paper on the subject, Guards! Guards!). Anything that's a vanishingly long shot but gives the hero a slim chance of survival will inevitably come through. In contrast, events that are almost certain to happen usually don't.

Corollary 2: If you're a protagonist faced with a really easy and foolproof way of achieving your goal, you need to make it harder for yourself in order to be sure of success.

Theorem 3: Duration of anything ∝ requirements of plot

Sometimes people may travel more quickly on foot than on horseback. Sometimes it may take a day to cover half a mile and sometimes dozens of miles may be walked in a day. And sometimes it may take a hero a week to recover from a wound that would have confined any normal person to bed for months. Basically, the value of any given unit of time is as malleable as plasticine in the sun.

Corollary 3: There's no point planning a journey based on sensible data, like how fast the average person walks/rides/airships. You'll reach your destination when it's convenient for the author and not before.

Theorem 4: Boy + girl ≡ ♥

If a male and a female are thrown together for long periods of time then they will inevitably fall in love. Particularly if they hate each other to start with.

Corollary 4: Be careful who you agree to go on a quest with. You WILL end up sleeping with them.

Theorem 5: {Good}∩{Evil} = ∅

People are either on the side of Good, or on the side of Evil. Regular mixed-up shades-of-grey humans don't come into it. In the Venn diagram of morality, there is no intersection between right and wrong.

Corollary 5: Entire non-human species can be similarly categorised. So if you're an orc with a keen sense of justice who prefers flower arranging to ripping people's heads off with your teeth, bad luck! No-one will ever know, because you'll be cut down as one of a faceless horde somewhere around Chapter 35.
8 Comments
katejack
28/4/2013 08:03:11 am

A very clever, cler and far sighed theory and so true.

Reply
M T McGuire link
28/4/2013 10:17:14 am

This is just pure class.

I am guilty of several of these but I have tried to make the smear the divisions between good and evil a bit.

Cheers

MTM

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Tricia Drammeh link
28/4/2013 10:17:43 am

At last, mathematics makes sense! I'm not a huge fan of math, but I'm a fan of fantasy, and this article is absolutely true.

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M T McGuire link
28/4/2013 10:19:39 am

Lord in heaven! Please be assured that I understand and can also read and write English... just not there. OK what I was TRYING to say was this.

This is just pure class.

I am guilty of several of these but I have tried to smear the black and white dividing line between good and evil a bit.

There... that's better.

Cheers

MTM

Reply
Sophie Tallis link
28/4/2013 10:32:12 am

An excellent piece, AFE. Yes, I'm certainly guilty of two of these, though like MT, I try to blear and subvert them. In other words, not all the bad guys are wearing black hats that say "I'm a bad guy". I love the idea of ambiguity and grey shades (er...no, NOT the book) and having a villian that may look as handsome, charismatic and inviting as Brad Pitt but is closer to Pol Pot in character and vice versa. A hilariously wonderful post though! I wonder what other formulas could be attributed to other genres, you could go a long way with this. :D

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Lindsey J Parsons link
29/4/2013 03:26:18 am

Definitely guilty of some of this! Won't be letting my characters read this though as it might give them too much insight!! :D

Reply
Author David Graham
30/4/2013 08:57:04 am

I liked this and at last maths seem to make some sort of sense to me. As i read this i realised that most of it has already hyappened in my own books. Book 3 " Deathbane" which is due to come out soon, sees my norther ( good ) forces facing up to a much larger invading army from the south ( bad guys ). Although the north are outnumbered 10 to 1, they do, somehow, prevail... so it seems these maths really do work

Happy reading everyone

Reply
Author David Graham
30/4/2013 08:58:36 am

PS: I do not know what the word "hyappened" means, but it looks good

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